The Fart FileI am beginning a collection of sound files of farts to share with the world over the Internet on these pages. If you have a good file (Real Audio, WAV, MP3, or au) or maybe a really good link, just type the location of the file ( it's URL, if on the Internet) in in this box and press the button: If the file is not on the Internet, just attach it as a file and email it to me at rbird@birdsnest.com After I have reviewed the files they will be posted here with appropriate credit.
THE COMMON FARTThe Common Fart is the fart heard most often. It is a very close relative of the "Ripper", but is released with less force. It is usually heard in groups where people aren't yet comfortable with farting amongst each other. Therefore, one person in the group gets up some nerve and releases this common-sounding fart in such a manner that everyone now feels comfortable with group flatulence.. Usually there is no smell with the Common Fart.
THE ANXIOUS FARTThe Anxious Fart is let in a place where someone does not want the fart to be heard. You may have seen men and women in book stores or grocery stores, or even on the street, letting these farts. They are generally controlled, usually barely audible, and require much skill to master.
THE COUGHING FARTThe Coughing Fart is one that the farter tries to cover up with a cough. My dad used to let these farts all the time when he worked at the Bingo Hall. He would stand at the back of the hall and cough, just as a nice "common fart" was let. It can be embarrassing for the farter, and those around the farter, if the timing is off at all, or if the fart is longer than anticipated.
THE WET FARTThe Wet Fart is one that sounds quite juicy. Quite often this fart is cause for alarm, and an indication that a trip to the toilet is imminent.
THE BLOWERThis fart is similar to the ripper, except it has a bit of a hollow, windy sound to it. This is due to farter blowing all the gas out quickly. This fart will almost always get a laugh.
TIGHT BUN FARTThis fart is always recognizable. It sounds like the farter's buns were so tight that he/she was in pain while farting.
THE RIPPEROne of the best farts around is The Ripper. It is loud, rough, and always raises an eyebrow or two. Characteristics of The Ripper often show up in other farts, but make no mistake - this fart is a single, powerful gas-bubble that comes screaming from the farter's butt.
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