b a c k t o b i r d d r o p p i n g s
The Fart File
I am beginning a collection of sound files of farts to share with the world over the Internet on these pages. If you have a good file (Real Audio, WAV, MP3, or au) or maybe a really good link, just type the location of the file ( it's URL, if on the Internet) in in this box and press the button:
If the file is not on the Internet, just attach it as a file and email it to me at firstname.lastname@example.org
After I have reviewed the files they will be posted here with appropriate credit.
THE COMMON FART
The Common Fart is the fart heard most often. It is a very close relative of the "Ripper", but is released with less force. It is usually heard in groups where people aren't yet comfortable with farting amongst each other. Therefore, one person in the group gets up some nerve and releases this common-sounding fart in such a manner that everyone now feels comfortable with group flatulence.. Usually there is no smell with the Common Fart.
THE ANXIOUS FART
The Anxious Fart is let in a place where someone does not want the fart to be heard. You may have seen men and women in book stores or grocery stores, or even on the street, letting these farts. They are generally controlled, usually barely audible, and require much skill to master.
THE COUGHING FART
The Coughing Fart is one that the farter tries to cover up with a cough. My dad used to let these farts all the time when he worked at the Bingo Hall. He would stand at the back of the hall and cough, just as a nice "common fart" was let. It can be embarrassing for the farter, and those around the farter, if the timing is off at all, or if the fart is longer than anticipated.
THE WET FART
The Wet Fart is one that sounds quite juicy. Quite often this fart is cause for alarm, and an indication that a trip to the toilet is imminent.
This fart is similar to the ripper, except it has a bit of a hollow, windy sound to it. This is due to farter blowing all the gas out quickly. This fart will almost always get a laugh.
TIGHT BUN FART
This fart is always recognizable. It sounds like the farter's buns were so tight that he/she was in pain while farting.
One of the best farts around is The Ripper. It is loud, rough, and always raises an eyebrow or two. Characteristics of The Ripper often show up in other farts, but make no mistake - this fart is a single, powerful gas-bubble that comes screaming from the farter's butt.
One of the better tonal qualities I have ever experienced, this file was contributed by my pal David Ridgway (see his art here). Not bad considering the absence of both tooth and tongue.
NATIONAL BAKED BEAN MONTH
Download a windows executable file (it's deodorized and virus checked safe) with embedded sound and graphics declaring July to be National Baked Bean Month. Click HERE.
THE BIG ONE
Hear a really funny song about "the big one" by clicking here
SONGS OF THE BODY
Way back in the early 70's Pink Floyd bass player Roger Waters recorded a tune made up of sounds made entirely by the human body. With thanks to Larry Wilcox, I present it here
Farting Dog Harmonics
Pull My Finger II
Robert's Toot Tone
To see the newest in fart technology, click here